Lily at 23wks in the womb

Good Morning my sweet babygirl,

Mommy bought a rather large iced coffee this morning and needed a jump start to her day. I felt that you enjoyed it too, literally giving me the jump start. It is amazing how incredibly strong you are for only being one pound and one foot long. Your somersaults makes my belly stretch and sometimes makes me light headed for 30sec. You sure are getting good at your gymnastics. We're almost 6mo into this pregnancy journey and I'm sure starting to FEEL you in everyway. It's getting harder to get up quickly, my pants still fit but my shirts are feeling tight. My hips ache at night and my bladder seems to be shrinking. My skin is like a desert floor and hair is growing in places that I didn't think was possible. I hate reaching to shave my legs, now I sit on our bathroom counter and shave them in the sink. I have the worst tension headaches as well as in my shoulders. My emotions are sometimes uncontrollable as well as my moods and temper. I sometimes think "I hate this" but as soon as I even think such a thought I quickly remember how much of a "blessing" this all is to feel every ache, pain, stressor, emotion, hormonal inbalance, rage, fear, worry, everything seems to go from negative to positive a within a matter of seconds.

Because in the same breath I can't wait to see your face and kiss your lips, have your hand wrap around my finger. Kiss those sweet baby feet that I will not be able to let go of (ask your brother). I want to just stare at you in the wee hours of the night just because I can. Dress you in all sorts of cute girly outfits that I have been eyeballing for the past decade of wishing. I want to learn how to make all those adorable bows and headbands for you to wear until you grow hair. I want to hold you and rock you to sleep like we briefly were able to do for Jayden until he became too independent so quickly. I want to protect you from harm and give you the biggest loving enviornment any child could ever want. I want to teach you right from wrong while I pull my hair out because it's challenging to teach and even harder to learn. I want to give you nice relaxing baths and to show your silly brother there is nothing to be afraid of. I want to be the best mommy I can be to you and Jayden.

I will always remember that I will do anything and everything to take care of you because I love you with every single inch of my heart and every fiber of my being. My family means more to me than anything else in this world ever could. I can not even begin to describe how happy I am to be Dj's wife and a mommy to you and Jayden. You mean everything to me and everything is you.

I can't wait to meet you my Lily girl.

Love,

Mommy

21 wks 4days....18wks to go

I'm definitely feeling the changes now more than ever before. Yesterday I had a severe pain in my side all day it hurt to sit down. I had to keep myself from crying over it all day, being at work. I eventually took some tylenol and stretched which led to some relief some time after.
After not sleeping well at all for over a month I'm finally getting a little more and more. I still wake up 4-8x between the hours of 3-6am. By the time Jayden wakes up at 545-630 all my attempts are over.
I looked down at my feet while cooking tacos two nights ago and thought, are my feet getting swollen already?? My left ankle already hurts!! My ribs ache, it feels like my lil "bigfoot" is kicking mommy right in my sides! There is no room to stay so tucked in to mommy's belly. I need room too! POP out already!! It's too early to be feeling like this. So on top of my body aching and not getting much sleep I get to work full time taking care of 2 clinics and double the staff and come home to run after my 16mo crazy monster (that I love so much).
It's crazy crazy times!! My best friend might move to Japan next year, friends coming and going, Jayden growing up so fast, countdown to our new edition. YIKES!
Focusing on our lil Hayes Family everything is just fine. Life can become challenging at anytime, but it's all on how you choose to react and respond to it.

I Love my family!!